The Stigma Of The Foriegn Bride

The following letter was written to the owner of a foreign bride agency and is typical of the absurd stereotyping of western men seeking these services.

"I am just taking a moment to write because I came across your site on the internet while researching the legality of mail order bride services.... You must realize that the only reason males look for brides from impoverished nations is because these are the only women who are desperate enough to pretend to care about you. If these mail order brides from Asia, Latin America, Eastern Europe, etc. were financially independent, or had any options in their home countries, they would not even give you the time of day. You have struck out with American women because you have nothing to offer. I'm not speaking about monetary wealth here; I'm saying you have no good qualities at all...... You are just trying to console yourself for being undesirable by saying that American women only want "Mr. Big". The only thing you can offer is passage to America and a possible green card (things that American women do not need). So you provide these things to lure vulnerable young women away from lives of poverty.... You do realize that there is nothing about you as a person that would make anyone want to marry you, only things that you happen to possess by virtue of being lucky enough to be born in the U.S. You are trying to get something you do not deserve: love, loyalty, respect, companionship. News Flash: If you have to pay someone to be around you, then the relationship is not real. Accept the fact that you are a loser, doomed to be alone, or content yourself with finding another loser like yourself who may want to be with you. Lower your standards to what you can reasonably attain, and leave these poor, vulnerable women alone. I want to cry when I think of the horror these women face when they are stuck with losers like you.

Pure and simple drivel. While this diatribe barely deserves rebuttal, the author uses many of the stereotypes common in our culture. They do a diservice to the majority of happily married couples and lucky children all over the world. I doubt if she has ever been to the "poor" countries she speaks about. If she had she would know that while people live with much less, they are happy. The picture of the woman desperate to escape poverty is laughable to any of us who have traveled.

The author goes to great lengths asserting men are coercing women into to marriages without one shred of evidence. Supposedly these women coorespond with men, meet them on visits, send photos, all with a gun pointed at their head! It's not even plausible that women from poor countries are so naive that they are unable to act from a place of their own best intersts.

. Women desire men who will provide for them. This is as common in America as it is in most places on earth. Women, like men, make choices based on a variety of factors, why isn't that OK?

Finally, she holds special disdain for men who, by virtue of nationality, have something these women want "You do realize that there is nothing about you as a person that would make anyone want to marry you, only things that you happen to possess by virtue of being lucky enough to be born in the U.S." If we're honest, we must admit we are all blessed with qualities through no effort of our own, through luck. Looks, high IQ, artistic ability, athletic ability, these are all examples of traits which rate high for the opposite sex AND are present at birth. Perhaps the world would be better if we only judge each other for our accomplishments, but you only need to watch an episode of "Beauty and the Geek" to know we're not there yet.









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